Day Fourteen: I am thankful for my "Forever Friend."

Throughout my life I always want someone by my side that would know the person I was as a young child to the person I will become before I leave this earth. When I dreamed about this idea of a "forever friend" I always assumed it would be a friend that I met early on in my school days or it would be "the love my life." When some girls young they dream of finding their Prince Charming, living in a castle and white horses. I had this idea of a "forever friend" and I guess it was my own version of a fairytale. The idea for me was less about finding my one true love, buying a big house and living happily ever after. I simply wanted someone to know who the real me was at all stages of my life.

As the days continued to pass and years started to add up I began to believe that my fairytale was destined to be unfilled. It wasn't until the year that my life, what I at the time believed to be the "perfect" life that I had spent years building was burned to ash by the single word of goodbye. The days, months and year following that devastating moment in my life I learned so much about myself, my dreams and how to count my blessings.

I never imagined that the the girl who played barbies with me on our bedroom floor, or the teenage girl that would help me do my hair and make-up before dates or even the woman that grieved with me when love was lost would was always my "forever friend."

Today, I am thankful to have discovered my fairytale ending is really not an ending at all. My sister, my "forever friend" has been by myside since the day I was born.

Day Thirteen: I am thankful for my Nana

One of the things I enjoy most about the month of November is that it brings out the gratitude in everyone. Today when I was reading the various reasons that people were thankful one in particular stood out to me. It was a status update about being thankful to know how to read. In the message the writer reminded me that there are many people who don't have the privilege of reading blogs, books, notes, cards, e-mails, or even food labels.
Because of this individuals gratitude towards reading I was reminded of the person who taught me how to read my first words and instantly knew she must be my thirteenth day of gratitude.

When I was about three years old my grandmother whom we called "Nana" would take me to the park in the early mornings while my older siblings went to summer school. Our family had just moved to the Midwest so it was important for my older siblings to be prepared for the upcoming school year. Since I was only three years old the need the formal preparation was unnecessary as I would be playing on the magic rug, eating cookies and taking naps in my half day preschool class.
What amazes me about this memory is that my Nana didn't use my young age as an excuse not to prepare me for my upcoming education. In those early mornings at the park she began to teach me the tools that would help me become successful throughout my entire life. Yes, I said tools. She not only taught me to read but gave me the gift of charity by teaching me to read the book "The Giving Tree." Two "tools" I still use today and will continue to use in order to keep my life full.

Today I am thankful for my Nana. I am thankful for the her time she spent teaching us, believing in us, and most of all I am thankful for the beautiful person she was while on this earth.

Day Twelve: I am thankful for IT Support

Today was a challenging day in the world of technology. I like to think of myself as an intelligent person and that can do most things very well. I wouldn't say that I am a know it all although some might say otherwise. I lean more towards a competative spirit and drive for perfection.

Over the weekend I received new work at home equipment from my company. This morning I started my day off like any normal Monday. I logged into my old system, checked my e-mails, calendar and got to a point where I could log off for about 30 minutes to hook up the new equipment. Sadly to say I was way too optimistic for my level of IT skills. After about an hour of reading the instructions, plugging in wires, re-reading the instructions, looking at the pictures, changing the wires I finally gave in and called the local IT superhero!

So today I am thankful for a reality check and reminder that I am still not a know it all. I am also thankful to those who are a know it all when it comes to technology. Thank you for your patience and keeping me productive.

~from a state of pensiveness....

Day Ten and Eleven: I am thankful for "time outs"

Never under estimate the power of a time-out!

As children we were taught that "time outs" were a form of punishment. If we would act up, fight with our siblings, run in the house or any other childlike activity that was considered breaking a house rule we would quickly find ourselves most often in a chair in the corner of the room in "time-out." Our parents meant for this time to be time spent thinking about our actions and consequences.

Let's be truthful. As children how much quality "thinking" did we really do in those still moments that we were sentenced to the corner chair? I think it is a fair guess that most of us would answer minimal. If my memory serves me correctly I am pretty sure I was bored or I was already thinking about what kind of trouble I could get into once I was out of time out.

Now that I am older and getting into a different kind of ruckus I am very thankful to be able to call time-out on myself. I now appreciate the corner chair, the down time and the time to think about actions and consequences. My mother would be so proud.

~from a state of pensiveness....

Day Nine: I am thankful for a calm night

After weeks of a hurried life I am very thankful to have a place that is calm, cozy and quiet. A place where dinner is made in the kitchen and not served from a window. A place where the smell of coffee wakes the mornings, books can be read, favorite shows can be shared, wine can be savored and the soul can be re-energize. This is place is my home.

Although tonight my home is the calm, cozy, quite place I described I do not want to lead you into thinking that my home is always this pleasant. There are days when life feels as if it is on fire and my home looks as if it was hit by a tornado or some other natural disaster. But tonight life is calm and I am thankful for this moment of rest.

~from a state of pensiveness....

Day 3,4,5,6,7 & 8 - Thankful for forgiveness

In a world of busy schedules, rushed conversations and more things on the "to-do list" than hours in the day I discovered how hard it is was going to be to commit to writing my daily dose of thankfulness. Over the last week my time was consumed with celebrations, professional deadlines and of course healing from the common cold. So on this eighth day of November I find myself being thankful for forgiveness.

Instead of getting overwhelmed, taking it personally that I am somehow flawed because I am imperfect at being a daily blogger with an end result of me discouraging myself from continuing to write; I simply gave myself permission to be forgiven and moved FORWARD.

Forgiveness of others is an act that comes easily to me. I am better at understanding the imperfections of others and giving the gift of forgiveness when necessary. After all we are all human, right?

Having said that, I find it incredibly difficult to forgive myself for not being a perfect human being. Some where along the way I latched onto to the very idea that being perfect wasn't impossible and that if I tried hard enough I could be flawless.
In my mind and heart I believed I could be every body's everything, I could learn to speak the right words, always be kind, be accomplished personally and professionally and all the while being a perfect friend, daughter, sister, and partner.
I discovered quickly in my quest for perfection that no matter how hard I tried I always came up just shy of perfection and I was exhausted! Through my tireless efforts I still managed to run out of time, speak unkind words, I have not accomplish all my personal dreams or professional aspirations, and I have let down the ones that mean the most to me.
Spending a lifetime trying to perfect the art of being perfect I discovered my laundry list of imperfections. But more importantly I have learned to spend less energy trying to be perfect and to just be me. I now know we are all beautifully flawed (including me) and because of that we have been given the gift of forgiveness.

Today, I am thankful that I can not only give forgiveness but that I also receive forgiveness....

~from a state of pensiveness....

Day Two: I am thankful for Quality not Quantity

In this life of more is more I have found that when it comes to friends less is really more. I have been blessed with five people in my life that I consider a best friend.

My first friend was there for me before I even knew she was going to be my best friend. I can remember fighting with her and my mother reminding me that one day I would be thankful to have her not only as a sister but as a friend. I guess my mother turned out to be right because today I couldn't imagine my 30+ years without her by my side.

I am also lucky enough to call the man hugging her one of my best friends. Twelve years ago he hired me into the company I would for now and because he took that chance I not only have my career I have an unbelievable friend. On June 4th my he said I do to my sister and now I get to call him family.

A new and New England friendship to last a lifetime. We became friends at a time in my life when everything was falling apart. I had moved to a new state with my partner and when life burned to ashes I was able to find comfort in a new friend. We met each other as co-workers and seven years later and 2,000 miles apart I am proud to call her one of my best friends in this world.

An unexpected friendship. We were first friends through the relationship I had with my previous partner and somewhere through the years we became actual friends. We first connected over music lyrics but as the years pasted and I learned more about her as an individual was inspired by her character, personality, and intelligence. Although my relationship is no longer I do believe this friendship was the best gift I received.

Lastly, my partner, my friend! Over the last three years I have been lucky enough not only to find love again but to find a person I can count on and call a friend. We laugh together, cry together and we like most of the same TV shows. :) 

I have truly found quality of friendship in a few amazing people...  

Day One: I am thankful....

Each November people on all different kinds of social media sites blog, update states and/or tweet about all the things in life that one is thankful to have. This year I decided to hitch my horse to that wagon and take the time each day in November to list one thing I have been bless with in this life.

November 1, 2012 - I am thankful for being a home based worker.

I have spent this entire week fighting my first cold of the season and in this crazy life of deadlines most of us don't have time to stop working to attend to our health. I am very thankful in these times that I can push through my day to day responsibilities in the comfort of my own home. There are many benefits and reason for me to be thankful that my company allows me to do the career I love from a remote location but today I am specifically thankful because I am ill.

Thank you for this blessing....